Purgatory
by Mirelas
Summary: Takes place after Divide and Conquer. The team goes on a mission that turns out very bad. People injured, and one member ends up missing. *Please read note at end of chap 1*
1. Confessions

  
Title: Purgatory   
Author: Mirelas   
Email: my address is in my profile.   
Status: Work in Progress   
Category: Angst, slight Romance (S&J)   
Rating: PG-13 (May become R later on.)   
Season/Sequel: See summary   
Spoilers: Anything up to D&C   
Archive: Anywhere that wants it. Please just ask first.   
Summary: Takes place after Divide and Conquer. The team goes on a mission that turns out very bad. People injured, and one member ends up missing.   
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.   
  
Note: Thoughts are in Italics _Like this_   
  
  
  
  
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"Why?" That's all Sam could manage to say as she walked out of the gate room. That's all she could think, as well.   
  
Everything had been happening too fast for her resently. First of all, she found out that someone attempted to kill one of the members of the Tok'ra High Council, then everyone had to undergo that test to see if they were zatarcs, then Colonel O'Neill and Carter were accused of being one. Oh, but no, that was not the worst part. The worst part was when she found out that the Colonel has the same feelings for her as she did for him. Not that that was necisarily bad, she didn't mean that, it's just that they couldn't do anything because of some stupid regulations. Sometimes she just wished that those rules didn't exist, or even that she had never joined the Air Force like her alternate selves. Then, the most horrible part of her day occured, the events surrounding Martouf. He had been programed to kill the president. When the programing went off, he lost it, he had no control. So, Sam was forced to kill him. She shot him. _It's my fault he's gone. No, I can't think that. It's those damn Gou'ald's fault. If it weren't for them, people would be free across the galaxy, everyone could be happy, and many people that I have known wouldn't be dead,_ she thought to herself. On the other hand, if it weren't for them, she would never have know all these great people that she does now, and she would never go on those great adventures. _Why does life have to be so difficult sometimes?_ she thought as she walked to her quarters. She just needed to be alone. When she finally make it to her room, she simply couldn't hold it in anymore. She colapsed onto her bed, and started to cry her eyes out. She stayed like that for only a few minutes when there was a knock at the door.   
  
"Go away!" Sam yell at whomever dared to interrupt her.   
  
"I'm not going to do that." She would recognize that voice from anywhere. It was Colonel O'Neill. She didn't answer in hopes that he would go away. It didn't work however.   
  
He opened the door, walked up to the bed Sam was laying on, and sat down beside her. He felt sorry for her. She had been through hell the past twenty four hours. He layed his hand on her back for support.   
  
"How are you doing?" he asked her.   
  
She sat up and looked at him. She looked terrible and felt like it as well.   
  
"Where do I start?" She answer him.   
  
"That bad, huh?"   
  
"Oh, yeah." She wasn't sure what made her start telling him all her problems. Maybe it was that sweet, caring face he had at the moment. "I just can't believe he's dead, and that I killed him."   
  
"Sam, it's not your fault."   
  
"I was the one that shot him."   
  
"You weren't the only one," he muttered under his breath. "He would have killed himself anyway. It was an act of mercy."   
  
"Then why do I feel so bad? That look on his face, I can't get it out of my mind. He looked so pitiful, so scared."   
  
"Maybe because you cared about him. Or at least Jolinar did."   
  
"I don't even know how I felt about him. All I know is that Jolinar loved him. I've never felt that kind of love. Well, I might..." she cut herself off. She was not going to say how she felt when she couldn't even do anything abou it.   
  
"I know," he says. He knew her so well, he could tell what she thinking.   
  
Sam started to cry again. Jack pulled her into his arms and she didn't hold back. She cried on his shoulder. It felt so comforting to have someone hold her. A while later she pull back and looked at him. They looked into each others eyes. It was like they can read all of the others thoughts, see into their soul. They could see a lot of the same thing, caring and, knowing that it shouldn't be but, love.   
  
"Sam..." he started.   
  
"I know," she cut him off. It was almost like if she didn't hear it, it wouldn't be as bad. She then realized that wasn't true. It was just as bad. Why did they even have to make those regs?   
  
All of a sudden, there was another knock at the door and Janet came in.   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry. I must be interrupting something. I'll come back later," she said as she turned around and walked back out.   
  
Sam stood up to go after her, but the Colonel reached for her arm. Sam looked back at him.   
  
"Are you going to be okay?" he asks her.   
  
"I don't know yet," she answer truthfully.   
  
She left in search of Janet leaving Jack sitting on the bed. All he wanted was to help her feel better. He just didn't know how to do that.   
  
Sam walked for a while, then she found Janet in her office. She knock on the door and walked in.   
  
"You came to see me about something?"   
  
"Yeah, but I guess I was interrupting."   
  
"No. It's not like that. We were just talking." Janet looked at her suspiciously. "We were."   
  
"Okay. I was going to see if you were okay. Are you?"   
  
"I don't know," she answer, and then told her everything that she had just told Colonel O'Neill.   
  
*****   
  
The next week they had another mission. It was just a simple mission. They were mainly going there for some great ancient artifacts that they had seen from the MALP. Sam still kept thinking about Martouf, and the Colonel. She would try not to, but somehow every little thing would remind her of one of them.   
  
So, for the first hour or so, Daniel looked at those lovely artifacts, and everyone else kept watch for unfriendly natives. As far as they knew, there weren't any, but they had been wrong before.   
  
No one wasactually paying attention. Daniel seemed to be the only one interested in anything. Suddenly, something brought everyone's attention back. Jack was the first to see some figures coming closer. Apparently there was some life here that they didn't know about.   
  
A staff blast flew by Sam. She was able to turn away quickly enough and it missed her. It hit Daniel, however, making him fall back. Sam ran over to see if he was okay. He was hurt, but he was going to live. It had grazed his arm. Teal'c pulled him up, and everyone started running back to the gate.   
  
Jack and Sam fired on the approaching Jaffa while Teal'c helped Daniel through the gate. Then Sam suddenly heard a yell. She turned to see the Colonel laying on the ground. She ran over to his side.   
  
"Oh, God," She gasped when she saw him. A staff blast had hit him right on his chest. Sam knew it was bad, very bad.   
  
She tried to help him up but he stopped her. "Go," he said.   
  
"No, I can't leave you."   
  
"Go! Save yourself. You shouldn't die here with me."   
  
Those words hit her hard. Die. No, he's not going to die.   
  
"No. I can't."   
  
"Sam, please, for me. I don't want to see you get killed here. I care about you too much to see you get hurt here, Sam."   
  
With tears falling across her face she said, "Don't talk like that. This isn't the end."   
  
He put his hand on her face, and wiped away the tears. Sam didn't even notice the shooting going on around them anymore.   
  
Teal'c was then firing back, since Jack and Sam has stopped.   
  
Slowly Jack's hand sliped away and fell to the ground. "No," she said softly. Teal'c came by, grabed her and pulled her to her feet. "We must go," he says. Sam treied to fight him first, she didn't want to leave Jack here. Soon, Teal'c had over powered her, and pulled her toward the gate.   
  
When they made it there, he almost threw her into it. He soon followed.   
  
On the other side General Hammond was standing there in the middle of the gate room. There were medics taking Daniel to the infirmary.Sam didn't really notice any of them. She almost didn't hear the General talking to her. She couldn't get over what had just happened.   
  
"What in the world happened? Where's Colonel O'Neill?"   
  
Sam couldn't answer him at that time. Maybe later, but not at that moment. She dropped her gear on the ramp and walked out of the room. She left Teal'c to explain to the General.   
  
  
  
  
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Which version does everyone like better? The first person point of view or the third person point of view? Present tense or past tense? Personally, I like it this way and I think this is how I will continue the rest of the story. So, please R&R. Also I am now writing and uploading this story using HTML (For some reason fanfiction.net won't accept my .doc files anymore. So if you find any errors please tell me.   
The next few parts will be rewritten and reposted shortly. And perphaps a new chapter will be up soon. 


	2. Gone

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Sam was sitting in her quarters, she was just thinking. Well, that and she wascrying her eyes out again. _Why does everything bad have to happen to me, and in the space of a week?_ Those last few words Jack said to her keep haunting her. 'I care about you too much...' He cared about her, but did that mean he loved her? Or did he just think about her as a dear friend? She would be able to find out. They couldn't spend any moretime together anymore. They couldn't talk, laugh, or just hang out together. She would never see him again. She wished that this last week would just start over again. Then they could have discussed those things earlier, they could have never gone to that planet, and Jack wouldn't have died. They could have been happy together, the way they always were. Could have, but not now.   
  
Sam heard someone knocking on her door. It reminded her of a time just like this. When she was in there, crying over Martouf and Jack came to comfort her. He would never be able to do that again. She would never see him, hear him, or feel him hold her in his arms again. With that thought she start crying even harder.   
  
The knocking wouldn't stop. So, finally she yell, "Go away!"   
  
"Sam, I want to talk to you."   
  
Sam could tell that it was Janet. She really didn't want to see anyone right now, but she knew Janet wouldn't leave until she saw her, so Sam got up and opened the door. Jaet came in and looked at Sam.   
  
"You want to talk about what happened on that mission?"   
  
"Not really."   
  
"Why not?"   
  
Sam paused for a moment. "There's nothing to talk about." She turned and walked away from Janet hoping that she would get the hint that she wanted to be left alone. Janet didn't of course, she knew Sam was lying. Sam never had really been a good liar.   
  
"What? Sam, tell me what happened. Daniel really wants to know. He told me that after he was shot he doesn't really remember anything that happened. I haven't told him about Colonel O'Neill yet. I thought that maybe you would want to do that. Also, I don't really know what happen to the Colonel."   
  
"How is Daniel? Is he going to be ok?"   
  
"Yeah, he's going to be fine. He won't be allowed back on duty for a while, but he'll live."   
  
Sam almost started crying again when she said that... _but he'll live..._ She wished the doctor was saying that about someone else.   
  
"I think I'll go see him, make sure he's alright." Sam started to leave to go to the infirmary, but Janet stood in her way.   
  
"Sam, please, just sit down and tell me what happened. And stop trying to change the subject."   
  
She realized that she was not going to be able to get out of the room without telling Janet everything. So, she gave in and started talking. "Do you really want to know what happened?" Janet nodded and waited for Sam to continue. Sam took a deep breath to try to calm herself and started. "He died. He died right in front of me. He was shot by some Jaffa. I ran over to him. I knew it was bad when I first saw him, but I just refused to accept it. He told me to leave, but I wouldn't. Teal'c had to practically drag me away. I didn't want to leave him. No one gets left behind, remember? That's what he always told us. But we left him."   
  
"But you're not telling me everything, are you?" Sam just stared ahead at the floor. "Come on Sam, I'm your friend. You can tell me anything."   
  
Sam paused before she continue. "I loved him. I finally realized this resently and now I can't do anything about it. I don't even know if he felt the same. He told me he cared about me. Cared about me? What does that mean? Like a friend? Or something more?" Sam felt the tears sliding down her cheeks again and she couldn't hold it back anymore. "Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't we have had a chance together? If only I had been paying attention to what was happening. Then maybe I could have noticed the enemy approaching and we could have gotten off that world safely and Jack wouldn't have died."   
  
Janet pulled Sam to her and huged her tightly. Sam sobbed into her shoulder as Janet tried her best to comfort Sam.   
  
"No, Sam. Don't think like that. You can't go back and change things that have already happened. You don't know if you could have done anything different." Sam tried to interrupt but Janet stopped her. "No, I don't want to hear it."   
  
They stayed like that for a while. Until Sam moved away from her. Sam was tring to pull herself together. _I'm supposed to be a strong confident Major in the US Air Force, but here I am in my room trying to keep myself from falling apart._   
  
Janet gots up to leave. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. There's patients I need to check on." She stopped and added. "Is there anything I can do for you?"   
  
Sam shook her head, "Not unless you can bring Jack back."   
  
*****   
  
SG-11 was supposed to go back to that planet. They were going to bring back Jack's body so at least he could have a proper burial. Sam had a talk with the General and convinced him to let her go along too. She knew it would hurt to go back there, to see him, but it is something she had to do.   
  
So there she was waiting for the gate to finish dialing. Everyone kept asking her if she was sure she wanted to do this. She always told them the same answer, "I have to." She walked up the ramp, ready to face her nightmare. She closed her eyes and stepped through.   
  
On the other side she opened her eyes. "Something's wrong," she say as soon as she looked around. "This isn't right. Where is everything?" This couldn't be right. It has to be a dream or something. She looked at the place where she last saw Jack, but there was nothing there. What did they do with him?   
  
"What do you mean, Major?" Captain Warren asked.   
  
"He's gone. Why would they do that? Who would do that?"   
  
They continued looking around for an hour, but found nothing that would tell them what happened to Jack. All they found were a few of the dead Jaffa they had managed to shoot down before they had to run. There were blood stains and foot prints everywhere, but that was normal. Reluctantly they returned through the Stargate. How were they going to explain this to the General? To tell the truth, no one had any idea what was going on.   
  
Sam took one last look around hoping to see something, anything that would tell her what happened. She found nothing however. She turned and walked through the gate. Back at the SGC General Hammond was waiting for them. "Sir," Sam started, not quite sure how to tell him. "There was nothing."   
  
"Excuse me?" He asked in confusion. She couldn't explain it to him better because she was just as confused as he was.   
  
"Nothing was there. I don't know how, or why, but...."   
  
"Ok. Why don't you come to my office and tell me exactly what happen?"   
  
"Yes, sir."   
  
  
  
  
  
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	3. Taken

  
  
And now we have Jack's POV of the events.   
  
  
  
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The Jaffa were surrounding them. Jack knew that he wouldn't be able to win this fight. There were too many of the Jaffa and too few of SG-1. So he gave an order to retreat back to the gate. He saw Daniel get hit and fall to the ground. Teal'c helped Daniel up and they ran toward the gate. Sam was still somewhere near Jack. He didn't see her but he could hear her firing back at the approaching Jaffa.   
  
Jack turned slightly to try to find our where Sam was and that was when he felt it. A terrible pain was shooting through his chest. It seemed like things started to move in slow motion for him. He looked down and saw where he had been hit. He could see blood everywhere. He staggered backwards and then fell to the ground. _I can't believe this was how I'm going to die._ He knew that even if he did somehow get back to the SGC no one would be able to help him, the injury was too severe.   
  
Suddenly he saw Sam kneeling beside him. She was saying something to him, trying to get him up. He couldn't move though. He told her to leave. He didn't want her to get herself hurt or killed because of him. He then told he how he cared about her. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, that he always had, but for some reason he just couldn't. He thought that maybe if he didn't say anything about love then Sam would be able to get on with her life easier.   
  
Then Teal'c came to them while still firing at the Jaffa all around. He had gotten Daniel back to the gate safely and came to see why they weren't behind him and Daniel. Jack told him to take Sam, and he did. She still didn't want to go, but soon realized that she had to. So they ran away, and made it back to the gate.   
  
As Jack laid there he could hear the Jaffa getting very close. Soon they are close enough to see him. One of them shouted something to the others in Goa'uld. It was times like this that Jack wished he had asked Daniel to tell him what more of those Goa'uld words meant.   
  
"Look what we have found. One of the great Tau'ri leaders." One of the Jaffa said laughing.   
  
Jack want to say something back to him, but at the moment he was just struggling to breathe. More Jaffa started standing around him.   
  
"Our Lord will be quite pleased."   
  
"Yes, we will receive a great reward."   
  
"What about the others?"   
  
"They got away."   
  
Good. At least they're all safe. They can continue living their lives, saving the world, and fighting the Goa'uld. The world was now starting to fade away for Jack. He had lost too much blood, and everything was starting to get darker. The Jaffa picked him up and started to carry him away, but he didn't remember anything more. He hadfinally slipped into unconsciousness.   
  
  
  
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Jack awoke, that alone was a surprise to him, in a small room. The whole room was solid stone, not a very attractive place. There was a door on one of the walls with bars across what could be considered a window. He also noticed that there were two other people in the room with him. They were looking at him with curiosity. Jack walked over to the door to see what he could outside the room. He couldn't see much. All he saw was a long hallway that looks just like the room he was in. In fact, that was all it was, just one long hall with a few more rooms.   
  
He also noticed that all his stuff was gone. All of his weapons, GDO, and various other stuff was missing. He checked his pockets and all he found was a few scraps of paper and a pencil. _A lot of good that's going to do me._   
  
Jack looked back toward the other people with him in the room who were still watching him. Jack thought about talking to them, but he didn't even know if they could understand him. One of them was a man who looked to be about Jack's age. He was very thin, had some shaggy brown hair, and a very scarred look in his eyes. He was sitting very close to the other person, maybe trying to protect him from Jack or who ever might come through that door soon. The other person was very young, he couldn't have been older than twenty. He looked very similar to the older man, maybe they were related.   
  
Jack was about to ask them something, but then the sound of the Jaffa stomping down the hall was heard. The small door swung open. Three Jaffa came into the room. All their attention was one Jack, they seemed to just ignore the other two.   
  
Their leader was holding the GDO. "How do you use this?"   
  
Jack just remained silent. "Answer me!" Still he said nothing. This earned him a slap across the face. Jack managed to grab onto the Jaffa's arm, and catching him off guard Jack was able to bring him down to the ground. There they fought for only a short time. Jack got in a few good hits before there was a staff weapon to the side of his head. The Jaffa threw Jack off of him to the ground and stood back up.   
  
"We will get the answers we seek."   
  
"Oh, I don't think so."   
  
"Our Lord is coming, and you will answer him."   
  
Just as he said this Jack heard more Jaffa marching toward the room. They Jaffa in the room spread out to the side to let someone through the door. _So here comes the Goa'uld,_ Jack thought. He pulled himself up off the ground so he could be standing to meet this new guy. When the Goa'uld finally came into the room Jack almost fell back in shock.   
  
"You're supposed to be dead. We saw you die." He couldn't believe he was seeing this Goa'uld again. He thought they had gotten rid of this creature for good.   
  
With a smile came the response, "Fool, you cannot kill a god."   
  
  
  
  
  
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Remember to please review. Also, if I can't update this story for awhile for some reason, I'll probably say why in my profile, so if you're curious check there. 


	4. Back at the SGC

  
  
School's been keeping me very busy. That's why I haven't been updating as much as I'd like too.   
As always, please review and tell me what you think about the story and the new format. There's a note at the end of the new version of chapter one about that. Please read it.   
  
  
  
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The meeting with Hammond had not gone well, just as well as could be expected with the terrible news that must be told.   
  
"Well, sir," Captain Warren started, "no one knows the whole story yet, but we do know a few facts. As Major Carter has already told us they had no warning when the attack started. The fight didn't last long. When we returned to the planet there were signs of a battle, but no signs of Colonel O'Neill. We checked the surrounding area, but there wasn't any useful information. I'm sorry sir."   
  
"Is there anything you want to add Major?" General Hammond asked Sam. She didn't answer though. In fact, she acted as if she hadn't even heard him. She had been too lost in her own thoughts. There were too many questions running through her mind. What had happened to Jack? What would happen to SG-1 now?   
  
"Major Carter, are you listening?"   
  
"Oh, sorry sir. No, I have nothing more to add."   
  
"Then everyone is dismissed," everyone stood up to leave, "except you, Major Carter. I'd like to speak to you in private."   
  
As soon as all of SG-11 had left, Hammond lead Sam into his office. Hammond motioned for her to have a seat and then he moved behind his desk to sit as well.   
  
"I'm very sorry sir, I promise I'll pay more attention from now on. It will never happen again," Sam began. thinking that she was in trouble for spacing out during the briefing.   
  
"Don't worry about that," Hammond broke in. "Look, Sam, I'm worried about you. I've never seen you like this before." Hammond's concern was evident on his voice. "Colonel O'Neill was a very important member of the SGC, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to report him as missing."   
  
"Are you sure you have to do that sir. We've just started looking for him. He could still be out there somewhere."   
  
"I know that, but where are we supposed to start looking? You, yourself just went to the planet that he was last known to be on. He could be anywhere, any planet out there, and we don't even know if he's alive. You told me that he was seriously injured, he most likely couldn't have survived. I'm still keeping hope that he's alive, and that's we'll find him. But you know as well as I do that it's not very likely. You just need to accept the fact that he's probably not coming back."   
  
Sam still didn't want to think about the fact that he probably wasn't coming back. However, she knew that Hammond was right.   
  
"Maybe you should take some time off."   
  
"I'm fine sir," Sam told him. "I don't need the time off. There's still many projects I need to finish in my lab and..."   
  
"I don't think that's what you need right now Sam." She started to protest, but Hammond wouldn't let her. "I'm ordering you to take a week off, away from the base."   
  
"Ok." Sam knew that she was defeated. "Is that all, sir?"   
  
"Yes, that's all."   
  
Sam got up and left Hammond's office. Hammond was left to worry about her. He knew that she was a tough woman and a Major in the US Air Force, but this was effecting her more than anything he had seen before. He only hoped that she could pull through this.   
  
******************   
  
Sam wandered into the infirmary and caught the end of a conversation, or more like an argument, between Janet and Daniel.   
  
"But I feel fine," Daniel whined.   
  
"If I had a dollar for every time you can into the infirmary claiming you're fine and then collapsed on the floor, I would be so rich I wouldn't have to work anymore. I told you, you can't leave yet. You are going to stay for a few more days at least."   
  
"But I could just go home for a little while, or I could even stay on base. I would come in for check ups."   
  
"No!"   
  
"But there's nothing for me to do in here. I just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. I bet I could tell you exactly how many spots are in the ceiling. That's all the entertainment I can get in here."   
  
"The ceiling of my infirmary are clean! There are not spots on it."   
  
"Yes there are. See! There's one, and there's another, and another..." Daniel said while pointing to various areas of the ceiling.   
  
"Is your patient giving you problem, Doctor?" Sam asked with a smile.   
  
Nothing more than normal. You can talk to him if you want for a while. I have some paper work to finish." Janet turned and walked out of the room.   
  
Sam pulled a chair over to Daniel's bed and sat beside him. "So, how are you feeling?" Sam asked him.   
  
I'm perfectly fine, but Janet won't let me out of here yet. How are you doing Sam?"   
  
"I'm fine. Why does everyone keep asking me that?"   
  
"It's because we're worried about you, Sam. We care about you. And you seem to be taking Jack's disappearance the hardest."   
  
"So, you found out what happened."   
  
"Yeah, Teal'c told me. He's worried about you too, ya know."   
  
They sat in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company. Neither of them wanted to be alone at that time.   
  
  
  
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Thanks for all the nice reviews I've gotten so far. I've got part of the next chapter written, but I have a lot of major tests at school coming up so I don't know if I'll have much time to work on this story. Check my profile here at fanfiction.net for any news on if I'm going to update soon, or if I'm busy with other stuff.   
  



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